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evertonian scot
Opinionated Wind Bag |
     
On a tour of Scotland, the Berti Vogts and his friends took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the North coast near Aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip. His 4X4 was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene Berti noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English football jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot shark.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men
wearing Scottish football tops roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, imobilizing it instantly. The other two reached
out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead shark and then
prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore.
It was of course Berti, and he summoned them to the beach. Upon them reaching the shore Berti went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I am amazed at your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."
He made his farewells and drove off in a cloud of dust. As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"
"That," one answered, "was Berti Vogts. He is in
direct contact with the SFA and has access to all their wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--- all about shark hunting.
How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"
I did say it was old
(Edited by evertonian scot at 7:11 pm on Aug. 4, 2002)
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The Wee Midges Website
hey lah, thah Yobo wone sackle eeze shickin
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Total Posts: 161 | Joined Jan. 2002 | Posted on: 7:08 pm on Aug. 4, 2002 | IP
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William Wallace
GET A LIFE!!! |
 Hadnae heard that one before, good yin. 
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Scotland Forever England 0 - 1 Scotland (Wembley '99) Hutchinson (39')-------We're bought and sold for English gold.
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Total Posts: 682 | Joined Jan. 2002 | Posted on: 10:43 pm on Aug. 4, 2002 | IP
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CUFC_England
GET A LIFE!!! |
Ha ha! 
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Still only 7.
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Total Posts: 733 | Joined Feb. 2002 | Posted on: 7:34 am on Aug. 5, 2002 | IP
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wrighty
GET A LIFE!!! |
CLASSIC!!
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Paris rocked by swarm of wee midges, Aberdeen rolled!
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Total Posts: 866 | Joined Jan. 2000 | Posted on: 2:11 pm on Aug. 5, 2002 | IP
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Kernaghan
GET A LIFE!!! |
That 'joke' is a disgusting racist slur and should be removed by the moderators.
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one cross
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Total Posts: 1306 | Joined Nov. 2001 | Posted on: 5:08 pm on Aug. 5, 2002 | IP
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TARTAN SCOUSER
GET A LIFE!!! |
Predictably hilarious, ES !!!!!
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SIR ARCHIBALD DOUGLAS T.A.
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Dubhghlas: Jamais Arriere!
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Total Posts: 476 | Joined Feb. 2002 | Posted on: 6:50 pm on Aug. 5, 2002 | IP
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Tartan Army Message Board
Berti Vogts witnesses sea drama
